I had resigned myself to being childless. I was getting old and decided that now; I could no longer dream of having a baby. All that changed when I had gone to visit a friend who had delivered a baby 15 years after getting married. ‘Can one conceive after the age of 35?’ I asked. “Go and see Dr.Kamala“, she said. “She will answer your questions”.
Would the treatment be expensive? How many days would it take? So many doctors had tried to help me. Will Dr.Kamala make a difference? Was she Brahma, the creator? All these thoughts and unanswered questions constantly filled my mind. To put an end to all this, I decided to find out by meeting Dr. Kamala. But that was easily said than done. One had to wait for an appointment for months. When I reached GG hospital, I found patients of all age groups. Some were clutching their files, hoping for a miracle, others, pregnant, were praying for a safe delivery, while others were leaving the hospital, baby in hand, happy and satisfied.
My husband and I had visited many hospitals and temples in want of a child. Once again, we made a pilgrimage to GG hospital, and this time with an appointment. “If you follow my instructions closely and take the prescribed medicines regularly, you will definitely get a baby”, said Dr.Kamala. It was January 1990. The doctor was exhibiting confidence not just in herself, but in me too.
During the fourth year, her words became true. But when the pregnancy failed after 45 days, I was shattered. I had a history of abortions in 1970 and in 1975. Why was god doing this to me?
The next time I got pregnant, I moved into a house close to the hospital, I was in bed rest. After seven and half months, because of high blood pressure, I had to have a cesarean section. My son was born.
When I was undergoing treatment, I would spend the entire day in the hospital. I had to go on the third, fifth and eleventh day after menstruation. I had to have several injections, beneath the skin to retain the pregnancy. My husband and I believed that one day, God willing, we would be proud parents of a baby girl or boy. We had even gone on a pilgrimage to Badrinath. I undertook a variety of fasts for the well-being of our child. Not once did I show any interest in the sex of the child I was carrying. It was my baby, regardless of whether it was a boy or a girl. In orthodox families, a woman who does not have a child is excluded from most functions and ceremonies. A woman is not given due respect, if she remains single or if she is not a mother. All that changed for me once I had my baby.
Earlier, we had tried to bring up a relatives child as our own, but the child was aware of our limitations-we had to deal with him sincerely for fear of giving the impression that we were harsh or rude. We could not enforce strict discipline. We had to send back him back to his parents. No deep bondage could be formed. Maybe, it would have been different if we had adopted a child from a home, with no knowledge of its past history.
I believed that real bondage was possible only when one had one’s own baby. So I patiently went through all medical procedures. Now my son seven years old and he is the light of our lives.
You need strength, mental and physical strength to bring up a child. More than all these, you need patience to see the fruit of your seed. I am grateful to Dr. Kamala for changing my life and lighting up our home with happiness.